Red Bull

Dear the Red Bull,

I have been a long time user of your drink and I’d like to start by letting you know I admire it greatly. I find the aggressively powerful energy in Red Bull helpful when I’m working on something tedious for a long stretch of time. I also enjoy your sideline in conceptual sports. How you manage to rally together reckless people with dubious personal safety and get them to do dangerous things is frankly awe-inspiring.
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Dear the Lush,

I would like to start off by apologising for having to send this letter; I’m not a fan of complaint letters in any way, shape or form, but unfortunately an incident involving one of your products has forced my hand. It just so happens it forced it into the beautiful penmanship you’re reading, rather than my usual format for complaints, namely standing on my balcony flicking the V’s at the world. Please allow me some exposition.
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Dear the Kindle,

I bought an eReader from your Amazon site just over a month ago and until last week I was very happy with my purchase. I found the e-ink screen soothing to my eyes compared to reading off a computer or mobile screen.  Plus, being an impatient man only having to wait a minute or two for a book rather than several days was a massive contributing factor to forking over the cash.
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To the fine people at ŠKODA,

I have always been a fan of the outstanding auto-mobiles that your company has graced us with. Even when you lost some of your credibility by being taken over by the inferior VW, I still held faith that you would not tarnish your world class reputation by engineering anything less than the pinnacle of metal boxes with wheels on. Continue reading