Dear the Red Bull,
I have been a long time user of your drink and I’d like to start by letting you know I admire it greatly. I find the aggressively powerful energy in Red Bull helpful when I’m working on something tedious for a long stretch of time. I also enjoy your sideline in conceptual sports. How you manage to rally together reckless people with dubious personal safety and get them to do dangerous things is frankly awe-inspiring.
Dear the Lush,
I would like to start off by apologising for having to send this letter; I’m not a fan of complaint letters in any way, shape or form, but unfortunately an incident involving one of your products has forced my hand. It just so happens it forced it into the beautiful penmanship you’re reading, rather than my usual format for complaints, namely standing on my balcony flicking the V’s at the world. Please allow me some exposition.
Dear the Kindle,
I bought an eReader from your Amazon site just over a month ago and until last week I was very happy with my purchase. I found the e-ink screen soothing to my eyes compared to reading off a computer or mobile screen. Plus, being an impatient man only having to wait a minute or two for a book rather than several days was a massive contributing factor to forking over the cash.
Sadly we haven’t had any responses from companies this week, so to tide you over enjoy this communication thread I had with a spambot. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Dear the Kinder Surprise,
Before I delve into my complaint may I first offer my unfaltering love for your chocolatey egg-shaped toy containers. I may be 25 & 4/5’s and as such a man grown, but even after all these years I still enjoy trotting down to the corner shop and buying a handful of your ovaloid curiosities.
Ikea responded to us, and it’s a good un’ again. If you haven’t read the original letter click here. Otherwise click on for image and transcript.
To the fine people at ŠKODA,
I have always been a fan of the outstanding auto-mobiles that your company has graced us with. Even when you lost some of your credibility by being taken over by the inferior VW, I still held faith that you would not tarnish your world class reputation by engineering anything less than the pinnacle of metal boxes with wheels on. Continue reading