Dear the Red Bull,
I have been a long time user of your drink and I’d like to start by letting you know I admire it greatly. I find the aggressively powerful energy in Red Bull helpful when I’m working on something tedious for a long stretch of time. I also enjoy your sideline in conceptual sports. How you manage to rally together reckless people with dubious personal safety and get them to do dangerous things is frankly awe-inspiring.
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Department of Complaints 