Snickers

Dear the Snickers,

I am a lifelong admirer of your chocolaty, caramelly and nutty bar. I have stuck with you through thick and thin over the years, and had my loyalty tested when you went from Marathon to your current name of Snickers. But I persevered with you with the utmost loyalty, like a guide dog to their blind handler, or a hyperactive child to a blue Smartie. Unfortunately the swinging axe of doubt has gashed me once again, and I have been forced to write to you with a grave concern that’s been bugging me for the best part of a month now.